Clifton Park, NY- I sit alone on the bus. A cold, cutting wind whips through the pine trees outside. “Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magic” fills the speakers inside our vehicle, which we’ve fondly named “R2-D-TOUR.” I am contemplating braving the harsh weather to go to the gym; incessantly chasing perfection or some deranged notion of being indestructible, regardless of how far off both truly are…
There are less than two weeks left on the tour. Beneath a slate-grey mid-afternoon sky, I realize that I will miss this un-orthodox existence. I’ve basically lived with IN THIS MOMENT for the last month, these amazing people have accepted me whole-heartedly; I am their road-dog, as they are mine. At least, I hope…
Some of us feel these next two weeks will fly by, some believe it will crawl. I myself, am torn. I wish for both scenarios to be true. I miss my family, my girl; I miss my dogs. But like I said, I will miss life with my adoptive gypsy clan:
~ Maria Brink, the fierce front-lady who is the focal point of energy; an Amazon-warrior-princess with whom I wage emotional warfare every night, for a single four and a half minute round of endless possibilities. The intense, deceptive dance we share has become a nightly adrenaline shot for me. I relish every second of it…
~ Chris Howorth, the “papa lion-bear” of the tour, who has become my own personal rock and roll godfather, if you will. His gracious and generous temperance serves as a reassuring respite from the dreary recesses of my own insecurities.
~ Jeff Fabb, a living, breathing dose of weapons-grade plutonium whose infectious vibes cannot be denied. My time with The Fabb One has inadvertently illuminated a treacherous, spiritual path… a path that requires fortitude on an atomic scale.
~ Blake Bunzel, one of the few, true free-spirits that I’ve actually met in my lifetime. His ability to be so open and inviting with his own head-space is a freedom that I envy and hope to someday emulate… it’s nearly impossible to find yourself in a dark place when in his presence.
~ Travis Johnson, the well-intentioned thunder-god of the group. One cannot help but be instilled with hope upon hearing his epic, personal struggle to succeed… his journey is truly inspiring and I look forward to the future for him.
The frequency with which I write has diminished with the waning time left on tour, but the weight of every passing moment does not fall on a closed-off heart. I am already alive, the great and vast unknown looming before me, once again. I wonder what it all means, I yearn to make sense of this fleeting reality, so that I may make songs from it. I have created this Life By Music and I hope to keep it evolving, by living every waking second IN THIS MOMENT.