Greetings Metal Army doods and doodettes! It is I, Oderus Urungus, lead singer of the mighty GWAR, with words of twisted meaning for lovers of metal in it’s many heavy forms! Especially if that form takes the shape of the band that for 25 years has defined the cutting edge of cutting edginess, the mighty GWAR…oh wait I already said that. Anyway, I have been asked by the wonderful people at Metal Army to grace their website with some pearls of Oderus-wisdom, and even if they are thrown before swine, nonetheless I answer their call. So here goes.
The easiest thing for me to write about is of course…ME! And my band, GWAR (right?), and all the fudge-packed, dingleberry-dangling adventures that loom on our horizon. For as we begin to close in on the halfway point of GWAR’s two-year long, 25th Anniversary Slay-a-bration, there appears to be no let-up in the pace of our relentless, blood-soaked assault. First and foremost, in June of this year we are back on the road in America, playing all the beer-drenched shitholes that we somehow missed the first time around. The “Tertiary Tornado Tour” will also include stops at the Bonnaroo and Skatopia music festivals…and in fact they are more than just stops–we are actually playing! Then it’s off to Europe, then back to the U.S., then back to Europe again, then back to the U.S.(AGAIN!), all in support of GWAR’s latest masterpiece, “Lust in Space“, out now on Metal Blade Records (actually, it was out THEN as well…).
But that’s not all; in fact it’s not even half of all! Because while, during, before, AND after we are doing all that, GWAR will be in the recording studio (well, actually in some crack head’s basement…) working on our brand-new album. That’s right, do you think we are satisfied with the release of just ONE new album to celebrate a quarter century of GWAR? Well, we’re NOT, and we are already recording new tracks for a new album that is set to come out later this year. GWAR, those mother-loving molesters of metal, are back in 2010 with their heaviest album yet! Title? Don’t have one! Songs? Well, yes, just no words…) Theme? Not a clue, though it’s certain to be something horrible. It’s far too early to say…but I can tell you this–in a band like GWAR, there never is a shortage of subjects to write about. I mean hell, my dick is three feet long! So after our new album drops in the fall/winter, we shall wrap-up the year with yet another ass-smashing tour of the U.S. and Canada before we return to the solitude and splendor of our Antarctic stronghold to figure out whatever the hell we are up to next! Can I get a hurumph over here?
In the meantime, continue to follow my exploits as the only FOX official “Interplanetary Correspondent” on their late-night gabfest, Red Eye, hosted by the ever-adorable Greg Gutfeld. I’ve been on the show ten times now so I have pretty much ruled out the whole thing being some elaborate mistake. And now that the Crack-a-Thon (our first foray into the world of webTV) is history, we shall be expanding that frontier even further, and even though we lost millions that won’t stop us from pushing the webTV tip until GWAR TV is a 24-7 reality. So stay tuned to crackathon.tv for further developments.
One of the shadowy rumors lurching around the Slave-Pit is the re-awakening of an ancient GWAR tradition that used to happen once a year but for some reason stopped about 10 years ago. Well, we never forgot it, and we always longed for the fun we missed, so what the hell…let’s bring back the GWAR-B-Que! A chance to drink yourself silly, stuff your gullet with greasy flesh, and pass out in the hot sun, only to awake to a total stranger urinating on you. Ahhh…good times…so stay tuned for a time and a place–the GWAR-B-Que will be back this summer!
Well, that’s all for now, a brief overview of everything you need to know in order to properly worship GWAR in the coming months, years, and eons. Don’t be denied the sick fun you crave! Support this planets or any others sickest heavy metal band, the mighty GWAR, in their quest to destroy anything that we feel needs destroying…HAIL GWAR!