Lulu (Warner Brothers)
When I first heard about the collaboration between LOU REED and METALLICA I felt in my heart of hearts it could go either way as far as being a success or a failure. It is not a typical album for either artist and for the most part the two of them working together doesn’t mean the finer qualities of each would necessarily rub off on one another. Most metal heads don’t know Lou and why he is important to rock history and I also doubt any longtime or recent fans of METALLICA would necessarily sit down and listen to Berlin, Transformer, Rock N’ Roll Animal or The Blue Mask. Lou’s Metal Machine Music also has nothing to do with metal for those uninitiated newbies. I have been a fan of Lou’s career both with the VELVET UNDERGROUND and solo and no matter how I feel about the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame, there is a good reason why he is in there twice. As much as Lars Ulrich loves the idea of this and feels the band is free to do what they like, James Hetfield was smart enough to publicly state “this is not the next METALLICA album”. Making a high concept art rock/poetry album is high stakes proposition creatively for anybody, but when you are under a microscope like METALLICA has been, it isn’t dangerous as much as it is a curious oddity. The story is solid: a siren type of women ruins many men with her charms and fickleness until she meets a tragic end. Concept albums are only great if the music is as good as the concept. I took a deep breath, jumped in with both ears and gave the album several attempted full spins before jotting down the notes that became this review.
Anton Corbijn can still shoot nice photos. Yippee.
Now where to begin? Slow, disjointed and generally all over the place like a bad YouTube mash-up, Lulu is not going to please fans of either camps right off the bat. It’s going to be one of those records that has its day briefly, but only because of the power and success of the principles, not on the merits of the music. Lou’s often brilliant poetry and grave baritone voice are often lost against the dross of the songs. His laconic word style aside, he spends much of the sedate portions of the songs pattering about vocally and when the volume rises and the rock parts enter he struggles to stand out. Lou apparently brought in the basic songs to the band and they did their thing with it. The results of which are an album that sounds unfinished and unfulfilled. The tepid tempos and boring chord structures are perfect for one person here and that is Lars, who continues to put out a minimal drumming effort for whatever reason unknown to me. James Hetfield has some decent parts to hang his hat on here and there, but nothing really outstanding at all. Barely a solo can be found from Kirk nor an inventive bass line from Robert Trujillo can be heard, both obviously ignored in the creative process.
THE BLUES BROTHERS....they are not.
As for the songs themselves there are a few decent riffs and moments, but mostly just passable and some of it is even downright terrible. “Pumping Blood” and “Mistress Dread” have some acceptable parts, especially when they try to rock out for a bit. For the most part it all sounds like Lou was glued on top of the band’s music circa the Load-era and barely enjoyable for that matter. “Iced Honey” kind of sounds like “Sweet Jane” musically (minus the soloing) and has a few nice lyrical nuggets in there. Still, the track isn’t anything to smile about either. The arty and expansive structure of “Cheat On Me” calls to mind a TOM WAITS song, but misfires with it’s stunted delivery. Lou’s ability as a story teller and his Dylan-esque ability to articulate the emotional into the absurd and obtuse are always welcomed. However, a true mesh of the two styles of artists doesn’t really ever arrive with Lou barely holding it down and the band holding themselves back. Late album cuts like “Frustration” (maybe the best track of the bunch), “Little Dog” and “Dragon” briefly flirt with thrash and rock, but again the results are mixed and unnaturally awkward sounding.
Looking at the album for what it is and not any kind of metal record, it still fails on a lot of levels from what I think they were trying to accomplish. The sad part is that I am the typical fan (supporter of Lou’s, lover of poetry, still on the METALLI-bandwagon somewhat) they might have been trying to court. And I hate it. Personally, I never want to hear this album again, similar to how I felt about St. Anger. Perhaps they would have been better off with their original plan of the band backing the legendary singer on a revamped greatest hits collection rather than waste everybody’s time with this mess. No doubt the many sheeple among the newer fans of METALLICA Incorporated will run out and the first day/week numbers will be huge by today’s standards. Lars will talk in the media about how he was right again and we will all go on with our lives, not caring. The good news is that soon this will be in the rear-view and hopefully all of this pretentiousness will leave the band as they prepare a proper 10th Metallica album.
GRADE: D
by Keith (Keefy) Chachkes
